The Last Word: Kat Nip

Polish-born Berlin-based stand-up comedian Kat Nip gives us an insight into what makes her tick.

Words By Alice Connolly O'Brien

Kat Nip is a main character in the Berlin comedy scene. Fastened from wit that’s equal parts razor sharp and ticklingly relatable, her humor has empowered her to grace some of the most respected spaces that the globe has to offer, from the stages of Edinburgh Fringe to the writer’s rooms of Comedy Central DE. These accolades coupled with the success of her female collective Queen Bees Comedy have made Kat a force to be reckoned with and have rendered her comedy into a league of its own.

We sat down with Kat for a quick debrief on the last time she cried, her most regrettable decisions, and the importance of having a clearly stated Subway order.

You can see Kat’s solo show, Liability, at Z-Bar on 28.10

When was the last time you offended someone?
This happens daily. I mostly rattle middle-aged Polish men on TikTok who are there because pornhub is a sin. Most of my stand-up material offends them!

Who was the last person to offend you?
I’m actually not that easy to offend. I forget grudges pretty easily. However, to be safe, I’d probably place my bet on my last offender being the Polish church.

When was the last time you felt guilty?
This happens every time I’m really busy (which is a lot). I feel like I’m not around enough for people who need me.

What was the last piece of great advice you were given?
When I was going to the Edinburgh fringe someone told me, “Don’t fuck comedians, do clowns.”

When was the last time you cried?
This morning. I cry a lot!

When was the last time you had a fistfight?
I’ve never had one. I prefer mental torment over physical violence. The latter warrants the risk that I might lose my teeth. 

When was the last time you doubted yourself?
When I took my solo show to Edinburgh Fringe and saw so much incredible, young comedic talent. 

What was the last regrettable decision you made?
Keeping my wisdom teeth in for too long. If I had acted quicker I might have had a straighter smile!

What was the last useless thing you bought?
Well, most stuff I buy is useful, I’m just useless at using it. For example, I’m the proud owner of kegel balls, a laser hair removal membership, a standing desk, a mini treadmill…

What was the last great book you read?
Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez.

What was the last thing you Googled?
“Can you travel in the Schengen area without a passport?”’ and “Bar near me”.

When was the last time you were scared?
A few weeks ago when my long-term partner and I decided to break up. We both knew it was for the best, but still, breakups are scary and sad.

What was the last shitty job you had?
Around 15 years ago I worked as a Subway sandwich “artist” in Aberdeen. My stint lasted a month but stayed with me. To this day I try extremely hard to provide all my sandwich info upfront when ordering my own subs. This is because asking customers each of these questions used to drive me nuts. For those interested, my order is a 6-inch Italian herb and cheese, tuna mayo, toasted, lettuce, cucumber, olives, ranch sauce, salt, and pepper. 

When was the last time you broke the law?
I’m a rather frisky driver, so probably not very long ago. Actually, last month I managed to fly to Poland without my passport as I forgot it in Berlin, however, I’m not sure if I should consider that a crime or an achievement…

When was the last time you laughed so hard that you cried?
Listening to Pierre Novellie talking about guilt-shaming kids into eating a full plate of food by using the ‘children in Africa are starving’ line. 

When was the last time you danced?
At the Perfume Genius concert in Metropol.

When was the last time you sang?
Today while driving. My car is the only safe space where I can scream my lungs out to Muse, therapeutically of course.

Who was the last person to truly surprise you?
Last week when I spotted my Canadian friend from Berlin on a sky sports on big tv in a small pub in Edinburgh. My brain overheated!

Who was your first love?
A punk rocker boy who didn’t wash his hair so he could look more like Kurt Cobain.

What was the last good joke you heard?
So many. I just got back from Edinburgh fringe so my ears were privy to dozens of great ones!

What was the last good film you watched?
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande.

What was the last great album you listened to?
Music From The Pen Gala 1983 by Local Natives.

When was the last time someone shouted at you? Who was it?
A drunk heckler in the first row at one of my shows at the fringe. He wasn’t a stranger though! He was an old colleague who would in the past occasionally text me at 5 am saying, “You wanna fuck?”. Charming fella.

When was the last time you stayed up past sunrise?
My last birthday. I went swimming at Weisensee with my off-their-tits friends and baby ducks.

If you could choose your last words, what would they be?
I guess it’s too late to join the 27 Club.

Catch Kat’s solo show, Liability, at the Comedy Cafe on Saturday September 10.